


homecoming

by darkside_cookies



Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, F/F, Homesickness, Murder Mystery, Suicide, Thriller, why arent you people writing more murder mysteries based on among us im begging you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26719516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkside_cookies/pseuds/darkside_cookies
Summary: Bodies don’t decompose in space. If I die, Violet thinks, my body will outlive humanity.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 92





	homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> a huge shout out to adastreia_writes for editing this and being the best beta possible, you helped me so much with this!!

Bodies don’t decompose in space.  _ If I die _ , Violet thinks,  _ my body will outlive humanity. _

-

She misses home. Humans are not made to withstand this type of loss, this type of loneliness, millions of miles away from the nearest living thing. Most of all, she misses the feel of the earthly sun on her skin, the soft caress of the breeze, the smell of rain on the pavement after a stormy night. It feels like a missing limb, this kind of homesickness. Sad and painful and the only thing she can think about most of the time. Nostalgia. From the Greek  _ nostos  _ and  _ algos; algos  _ meaning pain,  _ nostos  _ meaning homecoming. How she longs for this, to stand on soil again. For the last time.

Cyan lays with her head resting on Violet's thighs, eyes closed, mouth trembling.

“If we manage to get back home,” she says, shaking. “If –”

The sentence remains unfinished, hanging, like a noose, above them.  _ If, _ thinks Violet, caressing her hair,  _ if _ .

-

“Huh,”is the first thing Raven says. “They sure do have humor, don’t they?”

It’s their first official meeting as a team. They’ve been doing evaluations for some months now, but mostly individually. Sometimes in smaller groups. Violet has already met Raven. She’s a tough person, hardened. Rumor has it she almost lost her life in a previous mission, during a reactor malfunction. Now she stands there, eyebrows raised as the rest of the crew take in her joke.

Cloris is the only one who doesn’t laugh.

“I don’t get it,” she says, looking around, from person to person.

She’s cute; small body, high cheekbones, huge, confused eyes. She looks so out of place there among the rest of them, huge, experienced, confident and already relaxed. So, Violet clasps her arm. Cloris is the youngest member of the mission, after all- a first timer.

“The suits,” she explains. “We all have color related names.”

“And they gave us matching suits,” adds Amber, laughing.

Cloris blinks. “Oh”. A pause. “And… why is this funny?”

“Well it’s not funny to you”, chimes in Bruno. “I, on the other hand, will look like a space turd for the rest of the mission”.

“Oh, stop”. Ruby cuts him off. “It’s a nice color.”

“Wanna trade then?”

“Eh.” Ruby grimaces. “No.”

It’s Cloris who starts laughing now while the rest of the crew are looking at her, confused. She’s almost doubled up with the force of it and her voice comes out hysterical as she tries to explain: “It’s – it’s funny,” she wheezes, pointing at Bruno, “Because – because –.” But truly, no explanation is needed; it’s contagious. One by one, the rest of the group erupts in laughter and as they stand there, giggling at their shared joke, Violet feels elated. During her last mission, it took them weeks for the crew to warm up to each other. Now, it feels natural- they’re pulling at each other like magnets.

Her career choice always felt like a double-edged sword. She loves space wholeheartedly, can’t imagine doing anything else, but homesickness gets to her easily. With the Skeld devoid of all things earthly, life feels smaller, less than. Leaving home is always difficult but, now, with a lovely group like that, she thinks she can manage.

-

What a lovely group, indeed.

-

They’re ten days into the mission, when they find the first body.

Ruby. Her corpse’s twisted in a painful angle, broken in half, her arm completely chopped off. Violet doesn’t have the willpower to look at her face as they put her in the body bag, locking her up in medbay. It was Cloris who found her in the storage, tossed under some boxes, and her screams echoed through the whole ship. Now she is shaking, crying into Albas shoulder.

They sit in silence. Violet once lost her grip while doing some tasks outside the Skeld, almost floated into space. This doesn’t feel like that; it’s not body-numbing panic, it’s slow, dreadful, creeping inside her, chilling her bones. It’s Raven who speaks, at last.

“We can’t find her arm,” she says, slowly. She’s second guessing herself for speaking up, bringing in these awful news, it's evident in her jittering. “And… God. Cloris do you want to get out?”

Cloris shakes her head. “No.” Her face is unrecognizable, twisted with pain. “I want to know.”

Raven licks her lips, looks around. Nobody’s stepping in to convince Cloris against it and so, she breathes out, shakily. “There are wounds. On her torso and back. They look like...” She pauses. “They look like teeth marks.”

“Oh my God,” says Cyan.

Violet feels on the verge of puking.  _ Teeth marks. _ Cloris whimpers. The image flashes before her eyes; Ruby’s body, ripped apart, laying on the cold floor, resting in a puddle of her own blood. She gags. A hand’s on her shoulder. Cyan. She holds her.

Amber shouts up. “We should search the ship.” Her fists are clenched. “Something must have gotten in. We’re in danger.”

“Yes,” agrees Raven. “We should.” But when Amber moves to get to the door, she catches her by the arm. “But I have to tell you something first.”

Amber stills. “You saw something.”

Raven shakes her head. “No. It’s – ” The room has fallen quiet. It’s the worst sound Violet has ever heard. “I’m not supposed to talk about it. I’ve signed an NDA but considering – “ She glances at the door leading to medbay. “the circumstances, I think – yeah. You know about my previous mission, the reactor thing.”

Nobody answers. They’re all busy looking guilty; to admit knowing about her mission means is to admit gossiping behind her back. It’s only Cloris who sniffles and says:

“Yes.”

Raven rolls her eyes. “I know you've all been gossiping. I don’t care. It’s all lies anyway.”

“Lies?” asks Bruno, scratching at his chin.

“There was a reactor malfunction, but that wasn’t how my crewmates died,” she answers. “It – It started like this too. We found a crewmate's body, half eaten.”

A pause. Violet's stomach turns while Cyan’s grip tightens on her shoulder.

“We searched the ship for days on end and people kept dying”. Her eyes seem unfocused while she tells the story. “We soon realized it wasn’t an outside force. Whatever it was, it was already on the ship when we took off.”

“What was it?” asks Alba, cutting her off.

Raven looks at her, sadly. “A crewmate.”

It’s Cyan who asks, her voice sounding loud besides Violet’s ear. “A crewmate?”

“We called it an Impostor,” explains Raven. “It’s some kind of monster. It can take human form, so it disguised itself as a member of our crew.”

A crewmate. 

The silence is icy. Suddenly Cyan’s hand on her shoulder stops feeling protective, and starts seeming like a threat, the hand of a predator, holding its victim down. Violet shrugs her shoulder violently, steps away. She can tell Cyan has similar thoughts. Everyone in the room does. They’re all looking at each other like antelopes searching though the grass for the lioness in wait. Cloris has dislodged herself from Alba and she’s looking one breath away from crying. Bruno has stepped closer to the door. Raven’s breathing slowly.

Amber shallows. “Raven,” she says. “How are you still alive?”

She shrugs. “We tossed the Impostor out the airlock.” 

Huh. Violet blinks. Next to her, Cyan nods slowly. “And how did you find out who it was?”

That makes Raven avert her gaze. She’s biting her lip as she speaks her next sentence, sounding like a woman on the verge of hysteria. “Well.” She laughs. “Through trial and error.”

-

Violet used to play this game with her siblings. They would sit around the backyard table and deal a pile of cards. The rules were simple. Among the cards, there was a Jack, and however got it was the murderer. The rest were the victims. There were two ways this game could end. Either the victims found out who the murderer was, or they didn’t. First version, the victims survived. The murderer was hanged. Second version, the murderer won. The victims all died.

“Do you believe her?” asks Cyan when they’re left alone. She leans on the wall, her arms tight around her body.

She thinks of her childhood home. Thinks of sitting with her siblings around the table, dealing cards while her mother brought them fresh orange juice, her childhood pet cat sleeping on the couch.

“Yes,” she says finally, without looking at Cyan. Violet on her part, stands next to the door. She doesn’t feel safe now, alone in a room with someone else. “Yes, I believe her.”

-

Homesickness eats you away like woodworm, leaves you hollow. Fear comes to fill up that space. They’re all brimming with it now. Mistrust too. Every night when Violet wraps herself tight in bed, she counts breaths, her eyes open. Her breaths, their breaths, they all mingle in the room, a constant, dreadful sound. Nobody sleeps anymore. They all cover themselves with blankets and wait.

She observes them, constantly following them with her eyes, noting their traits down. Raven’s tight jaw. Human. Cloris’ panicked movements. Human. Cyan’s bleeding lips. Human. They all seem so human, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing monstrous about them. Ruby’s bloody, broken body follows her around, like a lost pet. It’s messing with her, driving her crazy. Amber’s newly white tufts. Human. Alba's eaten nails. Human. Bruno’s stammering. Human.

Cyan reaches out to her, to grab her shoulder and she snaps, punches her in the face.

They still for a while; Violet breathing heavily, Cyan holding her face. She moves her tongue inside her mouth, her cheeks hollowing with it and then she straightens up, spits blood on the floor.

Violet opens her mouth. “I’m so sorr-”

Cyan punches her back.

The world spins as she staggers backwards, almost losing her balance, but Cyan catches her wrist, holding her in place. For a panicked moment, Violet wonders whether she’ll punch her again, but Cyan makes no such move. They stand there, both their faces throbbing and then Cyan sighs.

“We can’t go on like that,” she says.

“I know.” Violet agrees. “Have you slept at all?”

Cyan shakes her head. “Have you?”

“No.” She exhales. “Alba got in Security while I was alone and I almost strangled her.”

“Same.”

She looks down at their hands. Cyan has still her fingers wrapped around her wrists and only moves them to drag them down her palm.  _ It’s so weird _ , thinks Violet, looking at their joined hands,  _ we’re standing here, holding hands _ . But it feels good. So incredibly good. For the last couple days, her only human contact was wrapping her hands around Alba’s neck and shoving Bruno away when he got too close in the cafeteria. Humans aren’t made to live under such conditions; alone, with no one to trust. 

“We should team up,” says Cyan, finally. “It’ll be easier. Watching each other’s back.”

Violet blinks, confused. “Aren’t you worried I’m the Impostor?”

Cyan’s grip tightens. She hesitates momentarily before answering. “No. I think I know who the Impostor is”.

That makes Violet’s breath catch on her throat. “What?”

“I’m not sure, of course, but I’ve been thinking about it. It might be Cloris.”

“Cloris?”

Sweet, lovely Cloris? Violet thinks of her, sitting in the cafeteria, wrapped inside Alba’s embrace, wailing. Thinks of her on their first meeting, laughing so hard tears were slipping out her eyes. Thinks also of her folder; first timer, first mission. Thinks of her confused, disorientated look, the first time she got in the Skeld, how she kept asking questions even for the easier of tasks.

“She found Ruby’s body too,” adds Cyan.

Violet shakes her head. “But she was so upset.”

“Maybe a little too upset.”

Now that doubt has started taking root, it’s difficult to shake it aside. A tree’s growing inside of her, suffocating. Cloris, with her lime colored astronaut suit, grabbing Ruby, cutting her body in half with a single bite, chopping off her arm and savoring it before sitting on the floor, faking tears.

“What should we do?” asks Violet, finally.

And Cyan shrugs. “We can’t accuse her without proof”, she says.

“So, we wait”.

“Yes.” She shakes her head. “We wait.”

-

It takes some time to warm up to Cyan. At first it startles her every time she turns around, finds her there, ever-present but soon the mistrust smooths out into a soft codependency. Now, she gets all jittery when Cyan’s not in the room. With all their tasks and work they can’t be together all the time, of course, but at least Violet can sleep again at night. It’s one of those times when Violet and Cyan are assigned tasks at different sides of the Skeld when Cyan finds Bruno in the cafeteria.

Torn in shreds and broken, his body is in worse shape than Ruby’s. Violet can’t even look at him without gagging. Raven uses a towel to gather up what’s left of him after they put the biggest chunks of it into the body bag.

Cyan is the first person to speak and she looks almost sick as she does so.

“He wasn’t alone,” she says, points at the table. “There are two trays.”

Raven gets up from the floor, leaves blooded footprints behind as she approaches the table. She inspects both trays, lifts one up to look under it, moves the food around and then, finally, opens the beverage cups, sniffs them.

“Strawberry milk,” she says, extending it forward to show them all the pink liquid inside. 

Five pairs of eyes turn, point right to Amber.

“Hey, come on guys,” she says, taking a step back. She raises her hands in front of her, shielding herself.

“You’re the only one who drinks strawberry milk”, says Cyan.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” answers Amber, voice trembling, panicked.

“Yes,” chimes in Cloris. “Maybe the real Impostor is trying to frame her.”

“Exactly! They're trying to frame me.”.

Raven puts the cup down, plants her palm next to it on the table.

“Ok,” she says. “Where were you all morning?”

“Where was – What?” asks Amber confused. She looks around. “Why are you all suddenly turning on me? I didn’t do anything.”

“I was with Raven,” says Cloris, lifting her hand, like a student answering a question. “We were in Communications, doing some tasks.”

“I was with Violet,” says Alba.

“Yes, we were in Weapons together.”

Raven nods, turns back to Amber. “So, where were you?”

“I was – I was in Admin.”

“Didn’t see you in there when I was passing by,” says Cyan.

Violet moves awkwardly from one foot to the other. The room has grown electric with their conversation. Amber’s eyes are huge, deer-like, as she looks between them all. Her eyes land on Raven and she must have seen something there, because she abruptly turns on her heels and starts running. 

“Catch her!” shouts Raven. 

They sprint through the corridors, Amber first, Cyan hot on her heels, the rest of them falling behind. Violet’s mind grows blank as she runs, her breath heavy. She turns left, then right, feels the shocks on her body every time her feet land on the metallic ground. She almost loses her footing after a steep turn, but she continues running, hoping that she won’t be the one to reach Amber first. She’s not. Cyan has her down on the floor, pressing a knee between her shoulder blades, her hands twisted behind her back. 

“No!” shouts Amber, her voice unrecognizable with fear. “No! I’m not the Impostor. No!” Cyan tries to smother her cries, wrapping a hand around her mouth. “Please, please - Please don't throw me out. Please.” Words turn into sobs, sobs turn into cries. “Please. Please.”

Cyan’s head shoots up, her eyes land on Violet, who is standing there, frozen by the door.

“Go get Raven”, she says, grunting and when Violet doesn’t move, again, more urgently. “Violet, go!”

And so Violet goes. And so Amber is thrown out of the airlock. 

-

Afterwards, Violet sobs into her pillow. 

She reaches above her head, scraping the wall till she finds one of the hanging photographs and she rips it down. It's a family picture, soft with age; herself, her mother, her siblings, all five of them, lined up in a row, like little soldiers. She traces them with her fingertip, from her mother's hat, to little Bryan’s doll, hanging from his grip. The hollow space inside her grows. She sniffles, brushes her nose against her palm and then, softly, kisses the photograph, her lips landing right on her mother’s face. When she pulls away, she feels the bed dip behind her, a hand comes to rest around her waist. Cyan’s warm. Warmer than anything else in this godforsaken spacecraft. 

“Are you alright?”

Violet laughs. “No,” she says. “Are you?”

She feels her laugh on the back of her neck. It tickles. 

“Alba’s alright?”

“She’s shaken up,” Cyan answers. “Cloris and Raven are taking care of her.”

Raven’s name sends a chill up Violet’s spine. She remembers Amber, standing there in the cafeteria, the fleeting look of sheer panic when she gazed at Raven. How she preferred to turn on her heels and run, effectively condemning herself, instead of standing her ground and facing Raven head on. She searches for Cyan’s hand on her stomach and interlocks their fingers, holding on tight. 

“I,” she starts, shallowing hard. “I wasn't expecting Amber.”

Cyan moves against her, pressing them closer and when she speaks, it’s right into Violet’s ear. 

“It’s not Amber.”

Violet freezes. Her breath catches on her throat.  _ It’s not Amber.  _ “You’re still suspecting Cloris?”

Cyan nods. “Yes.”

It’s the matter-of-factly way she says this, that forces Violet to turn around. With their faces so close, the shadows on Cyan’s face look almost dangerous. Her chin sharp, her teeth sharper. Violet launches forward, uses her weight to pin Cyan down by her shoulder and then presses a palm against her sternum. Cyan’s so surprised she barely makes a sound. 

“Then why did we murder Amber?”

“We didn’t murder Amber,”Cyan mutters, trying to force the words out despite the pressure on her chest. 

“We tossed her out the airlock.”

“It’s not murder when you have no other choice,” Cyan bites back. 

“We had another choice.” Violet’s heart is beating so fast she can hardly hear herself speak. “To not murder her.”

With a sudden movement, Cyan wraps a hand around Violet’s wrist and pulls, turning them around so Violet’s now on her back, Cyan’s above her. 

“Listen to me,” she hisses into her face. “Amber dug her own grave. There was so much proof against her, if I tried to stand up for her, I would look suspicious too. Raven clearly buys into Cloris' innocence and Raven’s extremely dangerous. We had no other choice. So get over this remorse shit, we have to figure out a way to get out of this alive.”

When she pulls back, Violet’s breath comes out broken, like a runner’s on the finish line. She lays there for a moment, collecting herself as Cyan moves again, to lay besides her. Their shoulders brush and Violet turns, catches Cyan’s face between her hands and kisses her on the mouth. When they part, she speaks against her lips. 

“We  _ are  _ getting out of this alive, alright?”

Cyan breathes slowly, against her skin. “Yes,” she says. “We are.”

-

They find Alba's body hanging from a ceiling vent, a noose around her neck. Cloris reads the note, her voice breaking with every syllable. A goodbye note, an explanation; the way I see this,  _ there is no other alternative.We’re all dying here. I don’t want my body ripped apart by some monster. I don't want it floating in space for eternity, either. I’m putting an end on my own terms and I can only hope one day, my body will finally return home, intact. _ As she reads the last sentence, Violet has to suppress a sob. She turns her head, pressing it into Cyan’s shoulder. She didn't know Alba that well, but deep down none of them is so different, all of them burdened by the same desire. The desire to come back home. 

Cyan holds her and says nothing. 

-

“I don’t understand,” says Cloris slowly. “But we found the Impostor.”

“Alba clearly didn’t think Amber was the Impostor,” explains Cyan. 

Cloris blinks. 

“If not Amber, then who?”

Raven chuckles, looking at Violet and Cyan. “Then who indeed?”

A chill runs through Violet's spine. Cyan was right; Raven has completely bought into Cloris innocence. With the corner of her eye she observes Cyan as she pushes herself away from the wall and marches towards Raven, with her fists clenched. 

“If you want to say something, then just say it.”

“I think I was clear enough,” Raven bites backs, taking a step forward. Her jaw is tight. “The day Bruno died you were the only one without an alibi.”

Cyan’s eyebrow twitches. “I was the one who found the body.”

“Doesn't mean anything.” Raven shrugs. “You could have killed him, plant the strawberry milk and then call us all in to frame Amber.”

“You’re a fucking - ” Cyan starts saying, but Violet has already stepped in, caught her arm.

“Stop,” she says. “Both of you. Stop accusing people without proof. We don’t even know if Amber wasn’t the Impostor.”

“And if she wasn’t?” shouts Raven. “Are we going to wait around for someone else to die?”

“Well.” Violet yanks Cyan away and stands in between them. “I don’t want anyone else's blood on my hands.”

Raven seems eager to answer but their conversation is cut short by a flicker of the lights. They flash unsteadily for a couple of seconds and then the whole room dissolves into a darkness so thick, Violet can barely make out the shape of her own hands when she brings them before her face. 

“Cyan?” she shouts, reaching out into the air, trying to grasp her. “Cyan?”

“I’m here.” Her voice comes from somewhere on her right. “Don’t move, Violet. Stay there.”

“Yes, yes.” Her voice is coming out in panicked puffs. Oh, how she hates darkness. “Where are you?”

“I’m going to electrical, alright? To fix the lights. Stay here. You hear me, baby?”

“Yes, I hear you,” she answers. Her hand has found a surface, something cold and plastic. A table. She holds into it. “Go!”

“Alright, just stay there. Close your eyes. I’m coming back.”

The next few moments stretch into eternity as Violet waits by the table. Her heart is beating so fast she can feel it on the back of her throat and every sound startles her, makes her head whip around.  _ I don’t want to die here,  _ she thinks, repeats inside her head like a prayer.  _ I don’t want to die. I want to go back home.  _ Her fingers are aching the way she’s holding into the table.  _ I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t -  _ The lights flicker, once, twice, then the room comes back to life. She lets out a breath. Turning around she takes the whole cafeteria in; she’s all alone. Cyan, Raven and Cloris, they all must have run to fix the lights. And so, she takes off, running towards Electrical. 

Cyan’s not there. Instead, she finds Raven, kneeling on the floor, crouched above something, a -  _ oh my god,  _ thinks Cyan slowly, her heart sinking to her stomach - a body, Cloris’ body. She’s holding into it, cradling it gently against her chest and when Violet lets out a shaky breath, Raven turns around. Her eyes are leaking tears. She looks at Violet and Violet looks back, dread comes to fill that space between them. Cloris dead. Cloris dead, repeats Violet, Cloris dead. That means. That means. Oh my god. That means -

“Where is she?” asks Raven, her voice quivering and then harder, she shouts. “Where is she?”

“Me?” A voice comes from behind Violet, an all familiar voice. “What happened?”

Raven doesn't answer. She shoots up on her feet, like a predator attacking its prey and she dashes into Cyan, knocking her on the ground. She punches her square on the face and Cyan holds up her arms, trying to shield herself. 

“You killed her!” shouts Raven, hysterical. “You monster, you killed her!”

Cyan tries to dislodge her but it’s almost impossible. She shouts and punches and scratches at her face, tries to get to her neck and Cyan gets her by the shoulder and flips them around, so she’s on top. She puts her knee against her stomach and holds her down.

“What the fuck?” she shouts. “What happened?”

“Cloris is dead!” shouts Raven, spitting into her face. “You killed her!”

“What? How could I - ” She shakes her head, turns to Violet. “Help me hold her down.”

“Violet!” Raven has turned too, looking at her, her words frantic. “Please.”

“Oh, shut up,” Cyan says, presses harder. “Violet, come.” And when Violet doesn’t move, more softly. “Please, Violet, help me.”

But Violet can’t move. Her brain sends the signal but her body won’t follow. She just remains there, standing still, looking at Cyan, looking at Raven, the smell of fresh blood wafting through her nose. 

“Cyan,” she says, at last, slowly. “Please step away from her.”

“Step - ? Violet, please, she’s lying.” There is a whimper in her voice. “You know she’s lying. I’ve been with you since the start. Violet, please.” And when she doesn’t answer, she shakes her head, biting her lips. Looks down at Raven and then, unsteadily, loosens her grip. “Alright, baby. I’m stepping away, ok?” She scrambles back and Raven takes in a deep breath. Coughs. “I stepped away. Hear me out now, alright?”

“That day Bruno was killed”, Violet cuts her off. “Why did you lie about Amber?”

Cyan shakes her head. “I didn’t lie. I just ran after her when she tried to escape.”

“You said you didn’t see her in Admin.”

“Yes”. She’s getting up now. Violet takes a step back. “Amber wasn’t in Admin.”

A sob clings into Violet’s throat. “You’re lying,” she says, her eyes stinging. “You’re lying.”

“No, Violet, I’m - ”

“That’s why you approached me”. She takes another step back. Her back hits the wall. “You wanted to team up so I can be your alibi.”

“No, baby, I - ”

“She cut off the lights”, says Raven, still on the floor, her voice rough. “Because I was getting to her.”

Cyan shakes her head. “No, I didn’t.” And then turns to Violet, again, desperate. “Please, Violet, you know me.”

But Violet just laughs. “Do I?”

Understanding crosses Cyan’s face and she collapses against the wall with a hysterical chuckle. 

“Huh,” she says, wiping a hand through her face. “So, you’ve made up your mind.” Her gaze when it lands on Violet though, it’s almost soft in its intensity. “It’s fine.” She says, smiling softly and Violet’s chest feels hollow. “So, what now? You’re throwing me out the airlock?”

Violet’s breath catches on her throat. Throw her out the airlock? No way she can do that. Despite everything, she's still brimming with tenderness for the woman. But Raven doesn’t let her dwell on that, because she launches forward, knocks Cyan against the wall and then presses something against her neck. Their eyes meet, for a last time, as Raven moves her hand in a sharp motion and the knife cuts through Cyan’s carotid. Blood splashes everywhere. 

“No!” shouts Violet, stepping forward but she’s already late. Cyan’s body falls backwards, spasming a last time, before stilling again, tossed to the floor. 

Raven’s breathing heavily, the knife still clutched in her hand, kicking Cyan’s boot, before she turns back to Violet, who’s trembling looking at the bloody puddle that has started forming on the floor. She tries to talk but words just won’t come out. It’s Raven, the one who talks first. 

“You alright?”

“Yes. I - “ Violet shallows. Averts her gaze from the body. “Should we toss it out the airlock? Just to be sure.”

“No need for that.”

But it’s not Raven who spoke. Violet’s head whips around, trying to locate the source of the sound and  _ fuck _ , she thinks facing the spot where Cloris’ corpe used to lay. Now she’s standing tall, still covered in blood, but surely alive. She’s smiling a toothy smile and Violet’s stomach turns. 

“You - ”

“Yes,” Cloris cuts her off. “Don’t get like that now, you weren’t even smart enough to check my corpse.”

Violet takes a step back, confused. Turns to Raven. “You work with her.”

Raven shrugs. “Yeah.” 

“But,” she stammers. “Why? She’s - she’s a monster.”

“It’s nothing personal Violet. Just trying to survive.”

And Cloris laughs, taking a step forward. “How do you think she got out alive from her last mission?”

It’s maybe Raven’s apathy, or the sound of Cloris footsteps, or the smell of blood still lingering on the air, but Violet’s not willing to just stand there. For a moment, she thinks of running to the O2 room, of ripping the oxygen supplier apart, killing them all, but then she remembers the vent inside the room, how easily it could be for Cloris to just slip in, eat her alive and then fix the malfunction. It’s worth a try, for a chance to kill this thing. She runs.

Cloris lets out a chuckle. “I hate it when they run.”

The door to admin is locked, she pushes herself against it, pounds on it but it doesn't budge.  _ Fuck,  _ she thinks, tries again.  _ Fuck.  _ She can hear a pair of footsteps closing in and something else, slithering along. A loud bang echoes through the ship and Violet changes her plan, starts running towards the reactor. The cafeteria’s doors are all locked. She bashes into them, shouts, kicks and screams and then turns around, breathing heavily. She thinks of Raven's story, the one they gossiped about the first days of the mission, about the reactor malfunction that almost killed her.  _ I’m not the first person to try this.  _

_ Shit.  _

The entirety of the situation suddenly becomes apparent. There is no way out of this. She’s dying today. She’s been dreading this moment since they found Ruby’s body; what will happen if she comes face to face with the Impostor. Every waking moment, every sleepless night, every hollow crevice inside of her was filled with this constant fear. She’s been living in dread for so long that the realization is almost soothing. She can’t kill them. They have taken every precaution against her. There is nothing left for her now.  _ I’m dying _ , she thinks.  _ I did everything I could and I’m dying. _ And in some weird way, she feels content. 

Another loud sound. 

Violet takes a moment to think. She remembers Alba’s letter, how she hung herself, just for a chance to stay intact, to not be eaten alive. She thinks of her home, her mother, waiting for her on the backward table, reading her letters over and over again. She puts a hand inside her breast pocket, takes out the photograph, her family's picture. They all look so happy, every single one of them.  _ Mom,  _ she thinks, sniffing her nose,  _ I’m sorry.  _ And then she puts it back inside her pocket and shallows.  _ If I die, I die in my own terms,  _ she thinks. She marches to the airlock. 

-

If you don’t hold your breath, you can survive up to two minutes unprotected in space. Violet holds her breath. She has fifteen seconds. Nostalgia, she thinks. The longing to return home. The pain this desire brings. Her mother must be home by now, cooking with the windows open so the smell of freshly baked bread swifts through the neighbourhood.  _ It’s not a bad death, mom,  _ she wished she had written somewhere, _ I always missed home but when home, I always missed space too.  _

_ Bodies don’t decompose in space,  _ Violet thinks,  _ I will always be where I love to be the most.  _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this is dedicated to joe, joe if you're reading this, i'm still thinking about u


End file.
